My whole life I longed to belong.
I was the different one in our family, I loved different things and had different dreams. We moved towns and school every year or two. I developed lots of skills in fitting in quickly and finding ways to keep safe, being what I thought I needed to be to get by. It worked up until a point.
The point where I didn’t move town, when the relationships I’d made needed to spiral deeper, not just survive, and they couldn’t. I had built them on false foundations. Not lying, but aligning myself with people I couldn’t trust, being in friendships that did not nurture me, but depleted me, and didn’t allow me to be vulnerable, my true self.
When I went to university for dance I was able to be myself, and met some of the loves of my life. We went deep together and saw each other through injuries, rejections, arguments, boyfriends, partying way too hard, misunderstandings, the teens, twenties and beyond.
In motherhood I searched for community with other mothers, I longed to do the sometimes monotinous hours side by side with others. Living in a big city this was not really possible, but I found an education system that supported my longing. Steiner playgroups, kindy, school, seasonal festivals, honouring nature, reverence for childhood. We all came together everyday in the playground, our babies playing, sharing our exhaustion, recipes, ideas, dreams and snacks.
During my 20’s and 30’s I also started attending womens circles. The types of circles varied, from light, feel good gatherings, to deep magic circles which often felt like hard work, to beautifully held spaces where each person was seen, heard and held. I also attended circles that felt unsafe, and with a lot of ego in play.
It took me a long time to find the perfect circle where I could show up completely, as myself, and feel safe. This type of circle is a co-creation, with each person agreeing to terms of the circle, and holding that space for each other. The feeling when I first sat there and realised the space I was in, was a complete home coming. Like i was returning to the place I always longed for. I belonged. The intimacy and connection I felt with others in the circle was the community I’d been searching for. The more I shared about myself and who I really was, and the more I listened and held space for others the deeper the connections.
Finding the perfect circle can be difficult, but creating your own doesn’t have to be.
I have created a new guide ‘Calling the Circle’
THE COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO STARTING AND NURTURING A THRIVING CIRCLE
You will find everything you need to start your own circle, or create it with a group of friends. The simple agreements and tools that are the basis for a safe circle are in this guide. As well as six run sheets for complete gatherings, start to finish. I’ve also included additional ideas for gatherings, meditations, journeys, crafts and invitations for a closed circle and an open circle.
And there’s plenty of room for you to put your own flavour and offerings into the circle, the framework supports most work.
Here I share my offerings with you. All the forms that this work takes, and the many ways I express this in my life. The path of women’s mysteries teacher, mother, menstrual educator, doula, lover of birth, dance, music, the earth, magic and the gathering of Women. With this we bring beauty, we honour your journey, we make it sacred.
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